Sick inside
This piece on Andrew and Summer's love affair does not quite make sense. From the beginning it is clear to see that Andrew and Summer are together secretly without Tash knowing. However the dialogue does not give a clear image as to why Andrew and summer are sneaking around. The part that shows what happens is unclear also. It seems as if the author has just put together the pieces of information that they have watched into their fan-fiction. On another point there are no punctuation used in the sentences after the dialogue. This makes it hard for the reader to understand what is going on in this fan-fiction and is difficult to understand what the author is trying to portray in terms of what is going on with Andrew and Summer, and how Tash is included in this love triangle.
Similarly Tasha is not written about as much in these love scenes between Andrew and Summer and is only mentioned at the end of the story, where she should not be told about their relationship as she is 'somewhat' not holding up after the fire. However I think the author should include more of Tasha as it is a love triangle between herself, Andrew and Summer. This would be more of an interesting storyline to see what Tasha would do if she found out about Andrew and Summer's secret love affair.
This piece on Andrew and Summer's love affair does not quite make sense. From the beginning it is clear to see that Andrew and Summer are together secretly without Tash knowing. However the dialogue does not give a clear image as to why Andrew and summer are sneaking around. The part that shows what happens is unclear also. It seems as if the author has just put together the pieces of information that they have watched into their fan-fiction. On another point there are no punctuation used in the sentences after the dialogue. This makes it hard for the reader to understand what is going on in this fan-fiction and is difficult to understand what the author is trying to portray in terms of what is going on with Andrew and Summer, and how Tash is included in this love triangle.
Similarly Tasha is not written about as much in these love scenes between Andrew and Summer and is only mentioned at the end of the story, where she should not be told about their relationship as she is 'somewhat' not holding up after the fire. However I think the author should include more of Tasha as it is a love triangle between herself, Andrew and Summer. This would be more of an interesting storyline to see what Tasha would do if she found out about Andrew and Summer's secret love affair.
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