As a fan of both T.V shows CSI Miami and Glee, I was intrigued to come across a Fanfic that was attempting to mash them both together.
Argueably, the element of song is what gives Glee the special edge and yet in these few moments that the writer is attempting to write a crossover, they leave out this key factor. It would have been good to see the writer make Rachel perform a song while talking to the detectives. "I shot the sheriff"-Bob Marley would have been a good choice to lighten the mood.
The CSI Miami aspect encapsulates the characters personalities quite well, keeping Horatio as the lead CSI in charge. Unfortunatly, the idea of this crossover and the final product did not live up to my expectations.
In general, the dialogue in this piece was awkward to read. I could not comprehend the writers use of curse words for Rachel Berry. Curse words have a strong presence when used in writing, and by using curse, the writer has shadowed the rest of their writing. Instead of using this lazy technique, they should have focused on improving the quality of the storyline.
The playful mood of this storyline really highlights the cheeky nature of the characters personalities. The light nature of the plot helps to create an equally light, entertaining read. Essentially, parts of Glee is exactly what this is about; an easy-to-watch, fun show. In other words, it can be good for the story not to include anything too deep.
From the grammatical sense of things, this is the first writer I've come across that finally manages to get it right. The story flows, the tenses are correct, the spelling is spot on. After finally reading a piece where the author has double-checked their worked, I strongly feel it's absolutely vital for every writer to do this every single time they write.
The first chapter of this Fanfic is really good. The plot is enjoyable and the writer captures the specific dialect of the characters, Rachel and Finn, so seamlessly. Unfortunately, the grammar and spelling mistakes throughout the second chapter lowered the quality of the writing for me. The voice of the two characters becomes lost in this chapter. I also strongly believe the author should have practised using paragraphs in their story. This would have given a flow to the writing, making it easier for readers to depict what was happening. A little bit of extra attention would have lifted the 'likeability' of this Fanfic.
Each episode of Glee is based around a recurring theme of the week. It becomes the principles of the storyline. The song choice for the week is also selected around the theme. It is safe to say that the theme provides insight into what is about to happen.
The quote by James Dean at the start of this prose effectively creates a thematic response by the reader. I find it to work really well in this story. Defining the theme has made it easier for the reader to understand the key ideas given to them in the example situations.
The narrative voice plays out very entertainingly. In saying that, it would have worked better to see examples of Mercedes interactions with other character's. Being explicitly told about Mercedes life felt a little too over-informing.
The plot was definitely interesting; an out-there idea to toy around with. Regardless of the entertainment factor, the author has almost written the piece as a script. I prefer creative pieces where the author shows what the characters are doing instead of telling. For example, the line 'Rachel smiles back at her, and she reaches for a hug' could be improved, 'Rachel smiled back at her and reached for a hug.'
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of prose. The reader, arguably, enjoys being left some room to develop their own story within the words being presented to them. The writer in this piece is playing a less omniscient role in allowing the reader to ‘feel’ the interactions between Puck, Rachel and their daughter. This is the best 'creative' piece of writing I have read in terms of usage of words and word techniques.
Changing the point of view throughout the story works in the way that it shows every different characters personal perspective on the same situation. It allows readers multiple chances to relate to any single character. This helps to give meaning to a situation that perhaps the reader may never have had the chance to understand when just shown from one perspective.
As a new character is being added into the mix, it almost feels as though we, the reader, are missing a large chunk of the sub-text. It's difficult to understand why this character, Carly, gets so worked up over a play fight between herself and Puck. The writer has forgotten to include us by skipping parts of the storyline. Consequently we are left behind, not quite believing in the authenticity of the character.
Surprisingly, this is the first piece of Glee Fanfiction I have read so far that is attempting to choose a song to include in the material. It works well in that it does not sound musical. The song flows into the storyline and helps to provide insight into the characters feelings and motives. I probably wouldn't have typed the lyrics to the entire song, instead just giving reference the title.
Dialogue can either make or break a piece of writing. In this piece, it definitely helps to enhance it.
Instead of expanding borrowed characters from Glee, I’m finding that by adding original characters, writers are bringing higher levels of creativity to their pieces. The originality factor in this Fanfic makes it interesting to read.
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